Holiness in Human Relationship-HOMILY FOR THE 23RD SUNDAY IN ORDINARY TIME 10TH SEPTEMBER 2023

Holiness in Human Relationship-HOMILY FOR THE 23RD SUNDAY IN ORDINARY TIME 10TH SEPTEMBER 2023

Eze.33:7-9; Ps.95; Rom.13:8-10; Matthew 18:15-20

 _Owe no one anything, except to love one another_ (Rom.13:8)

Holiness in Human Relationship

It is an obvious truth that no man can live in isolation. Man necessarily relates with his human and non-human environment in different ways and to different degrees. God has created the world in such a way that from such fruitful interaction, man is able to realize himself more fully. But then, we cannot be blind to the fact that sometimes the interaction man has with his environment is fraught with some tensions; tensions that inhibits a fruitful interaction that is expected to make man more human. An unhealthy interaction with one’s environment also goes as far affecting ones spiritual life and standing with God. If we must be saved, we must consider how we relate with our environment. The readings of today not only sharpens this consciousness in us, but also gives us hint on how to create and develop a fruitful interaction with our God-given environment.

The first reading tells us that we will always notice people who do what is wrong. It further tells us what we must do with such observation. To begin with, do not consider it as nothing extraordinary that you notice someone doing the wrong the thing. God purposefully brought it to your notice so that you can do something about it. So, the misdeeds happening around you can never not be your business. From the first reading, we see that on the last day, we shall answer not only for our personal actions and inactions but also give account of the effort we made in correcting others and installing the ideal in our environment. The Lord said that he has made all of us watchmen. This is a responsibility; but it does not suggest that we should go about pock-nosing into the affairs of others.

Without pock-nosing, there are always so much obvious and open misdeeds to correct. To refuse to correct others is to share in their sin. Notice that we will not necessarily be responsible for the eventual repentance of the sinner but for speaking the truth charitably to the person. If we not speak the truth to the sinner, we are culpable. If we speak the truth but uncharitably, by using a condemnatory approach, we are also culpable; because, a correction that is not properly done is as good as nothing. From this we see that there is no basis for speaking to others about the misdeeds of another. Gossip is never a method of correction. Everyone has a right to his or her good name. The dignity of the human person is not diminished by ones sin. So, we must guide against any form of correction that tramples on the human dignity.

Respecting the dignity of others when correcting them is important because people (including us) are more prone to accepting a correction that is borne out of love. Though the truth can be bitter, very many persons can still differentiate between a correction that is loving from one that is condemnatory. Gossip is condemnatory. Not giving a listening ear or listening with a closed mind or listening to only one party are all condemnatory. So, the first step towards helping others is loving them.

It is for this reason that St. Paul, in the second reading, summarized the whole commandments as love. All the commandments are summed up into love of God and love of neighbbour. Now, you cannot love God whom you have not seen, yet hate your neighbour whom you see. It therefore means that for us to truly love God, we must first love our neighbours; only then would we have fulfilled the whole law. Therefore, the key to obeying all the commandments is loving our neigbhour. St. Paul says that loving one another is a duty we own one another. When we show love, we are not doing a favour but fulfilling the law. If love is a duty, then failure to love is a sin. That explains why if we do not correct others, we share in their sin. But we will not be responsible for their sins if we correct them appropriately but they still refuse to change. Often times, we are discouraged from correcting others because they either put on a defensive attitude or they refuse to change. Some may go as far as insulting, castigating or keeping malice with you for correcting them. Do not be discouraged. See all these as the cross you must carry in fulfilling the law of love; it is nothing compared to the effect of sharing in the sins of the person.

Another major challenge to living peaceably with others is when they offend us, especially with a sense of entitlement such that they do not see the need to apologize or make restitution. How do you love a person who is parasitic in human relationship? Does loving mean being blind to the injury the person continues to inflict on us and on others? The gospel reading offers answers to these and similar questions. Notice that Jesus was not teaching the disciples how to avoid conflict, because in every human society, conflict is almost unavoidable. The focus is on how to handle conflict. In as much as we cannot avoid conflict, we should not be the instigators of conflict. That is why Jesus began by saying: “If your brother sins against you…” He did not say: “If you sin against your brother”. This is because we can control how we act towards others but we cannot control how others will treat us. On our part, we must not be trouble makers; for “blessed are the peacemakers, they will be called Children of God” (Matt.5:9).

But when others treat us wrongly, Jesus recommends that we take the first step towards making peace. Peace does not necessarily mean that both of you will become best of friends but that hatred is removed such that you do not withdraw any good from the person. Taking the initiative for reconciliation when you were the one offended may make you look weak and cheap before your offender and others, but it will bring you your salvation. This first step may not mean apologizing when you are not wrong but expressing forgiveness even when the person has not asked for it. Just show that your reaction to the offense is not revenge! Jesus says that we should do this privately because publicity may create a different impression such as seeking cheap popularity.

Again, Jesus anticipates that the offender will be obstinate to peace! So, he recommends that we exhaust all possibilities of dialogue. However, Jesus is not asking us to offend others and wait for them to come to us. We should be the ones reaching out to others both when we offend them and vice versa. Beloved, peaceful co-existence is key to an effective group prayer. Disunity is a hindrance to community prayer. While is good to make personal prayers, there are certain prayers that can only be answered when we pray as a community. So, do all within your power to live peaceably with others.